“My Tummy Hurts”: and other not-so-obvious signs of anxiety in children.
As we get back into the routine of early mornings and school days, parents might be beginning to feel the relief of feeling settled after a few weeks. On the other hand, our children may be still feeling the stress. We’d think that the back-to-school anxiety for our kids would resolve now that all of the unknowns of “Who’s in my class? Will my teacher be mean? What will I wear? Who will I sit by?” are figured out. Sometimes though, this is when real-life sets in, and their little bodies and minds can become persistently overwhelmed. Here are some signs that your child may be struggling with ongoing feelings of anxiety:
Expressed fears or frequent crying are pretty obvious signs, but they may be hiding these well!
Not wanting to go to school or play with their friends. This could also be a sign of bullying, so talk with your child or their teacher about this as well.
Frequent stomach aches, headaches, or muscle aches
Frequent trips to the nurse or the bathroom at school
Trouble concentrating or finishing tasks
Behavioral difficulties - this could be in the form of extra “sassiness” or defiance
Increased anger
Avoiding schoolwork
The strong need to be clean, organized, or in control of things
Changes in eating or sleeping patterns
Constipation or diarrhea
Becoming more clingy to you or to others
Nightmares
Fidgets, twitches, or new habits like nail-biting or making odd noises like clicks or tongue-sucking
Regression in younger children
Lots of children struggle with transitions and we can help support them by recognizing when they are stressed (maybe through the signs above) and guide them through some coping skills to ease the stress. Coloring with them, hugging them, having them do something they enjoy, or practicing deep breathing are just a few ideas! Depending on your child and how they respond, sports and other activities like art, musical instruments, or cooking can be a great distraction and outlet as well! Keeping routines as consistent as possible (but not rigid) can also really help anxious kids get a sense of control over their day and environment. If you notice your child is having a hard time completing tasks when asked, give them choices: “you can unload the dishwasher now, or in 5 minutes.” This also helps them feel like they have a little bit of control over what they need to do.
