“Just stop thinking about it!”

Have you ever told yourself that? I know my husband has tried to “fix” my worrisome thoughts by telling me “Just stop thinking about it already!”. Ahh Honey, if only it were that easy….

But we all default to this technique of trying to stop thinking disturbing or anxiety-provoking thoughts. The problem is, this actually reinforces the pathways that our brain has created which make us believe these thoughts are harmful. So, by telling our brain “this thought is so dangerous it has to be avoided” our brain actually sees it as more of a threat and increases the power of the thought. Sounds like your toddler, huh? It strengthens the connection between the thought and the “danger, danger” center of our brain - the amygdala. It does this because we are actually thinking about that thought while we are trying to not think about it. The more we activate a thought, the more it strengthens that particular neural pathway, and the more power it has.

I have my clients try this little experiment if they don't believe me: I say “Do NOT think about a white elephant”. So, what pops immediately into mind? Exactly, a big fat (possibly cute) white elephant. Which is the opposite of what we’re trying to achieve.

So what do we do instead?

An important thing to recognize first is that a thought is just a thought - it has no real power to create actual physical danger. Often, these thoughts are generated by our survival brain in error. Yes, it’s important to be weary of dark allies and tigers, but the vast majority of our thoughts do not equal immediate physical danger.

• Try a different kind of S.T.O.P technique

  Stop

  Take a deep breath

  Observe your body or thoughts without judgment or problem solving - simply observe

  Proceed with intention to a helpful or productive activity.

• Notice you are having an anxiety-producing thought. Accept that it is there, without any judgment. This isn’t giving in to the thought, it’s just saying, “Huh, I’m having this thought. It’s there. OK, whatever.” and move on.

• Shift your focus - Practice mindfulness or engage in any type of positive activity.

• Replace it with a positive or neutral thought. Some examples may be:

  “In this moment, I am safe.”

  “This is just my anxiety talking.”

  “My brain is trying to trick me into thinking this thought is dangerous.”

• Face it head on - This technique reduces the power of your thoughts by teaching your brain that it actually is not dangerous, or that it is something you can indeed handle. This is a form of exposure, in which you either physically engage in an anxiety-producing situation or imagine engaging in one. For intense or compulsive thoughts, exposure is best done with the help of a licensed therapist to ensure that it is carried out safely and effectively.